I just can not get this cloud that has been hanging over my head to go away... It just hangs out letting only little bits of sunshine in.... I am sad today. I feel so done... Done with everything... I think we should stop trying all together..., Just give up and if it happens it will happen... I am so frustrated. I feel as if it will never happen! We will never have a baby... We will get close, but no baby! It is just this awful feeling I have had the last few days. I feel like I have given up on everything... My school, my weight watchers diet, my self, having a baby.... I am just done... You know what I want?? I want my Butter Bean to be safe and sound inside my belly!! I want to give birth to BB on October 4th… I want to be a mom..... I wish I never experienced that loss.. I wish that life was a little easier....
I leave for Alaska on Friday and am just sad because it is one more month that I will not get pregnant.. I will miss my O day... I just can not win...
I am sure I sound like a whiner, but this is the way that I feel today and it is my journal and I can write whatever I want, right....LOL
Why does it have to be so hard for so many people and so easy for others?? Why does the mom who has lost custody of her 7 children due to neglect and abuse get pregnant w/ her 8th child??? Why is that??? It just kills me.....
God...... I am losing faith... Losing myself... Where are you???
2 comments:
Erin - I'm so sorry:( I know things suck right now. It's ok to lose faith for a little bit. It's understandable considering all you've been through.
I can tell you, it will get better. You will get your faith back. And most important, you WILL have a baby. I know this in my heart.
Lot's of Love and Hugs coming to you.
Aw hon. Many many hugs.
Post a Comment