Family

What is Family? For me a Family is not so much who I share blood with... It is the people whom I feel safe with, whom I can relate to.... They are the ones who stand beside me and pick me up when I can no longer keep going... They are the ones who I count on... My "family" is a beautiful one filled w/ so many rich bold characters. I am blessed to have my Family. When my Mom died I was so lost.. I just had my Dad and my Sister and My Best Friend... That was my family.... And at the time of my Mom's death my sister and I were always at odds... She could not stand to watch my mom die, so she was never around.. I resented her for that. I wished I could be more like her.. I wanted to be cold and hard.. I wished my heart would not hurt so much.... After that first year I met a couple who did Foster Care and I fell in love with them.. They were amazing. My mom's name was Sharon and this new person I met, well her name was Sharon too.. Her mother had died a few days before mine.. I decided God knew how much I needed a Mom and he sent her to me.. She truly was an Angel.. I am scared to think of where I would be w/o her love, support and guidance. She is amazing. Every time I turn around, she is there... I love her so much, she is my Family!

Today I had a big blow out with my Step-Mom and it was bad.. I have been holding in a lot and well, it all came out today. She hordes my Mother's stuff like you can not believe. She feels that it all belongs to her and that we have no say in it.. We were over visiting today and I saw my old dresser that my Mom had bought for me and I told her we would be able to take it in a few months when we move.. She proceeded to tell me that I couldn't... I lost it.. I just screamed and yelled and shook, and cried... I told her what a selfish woman she was.. She has all of my Mom's jewelery, her tea cups, buttons, etc. etc.... I told her that none of it was hers.. I was so upset.. My Dad just went off to the corner and said nothing.... I left crying hysterically and Ron just held me till I stopped crying... Anyway I called my Dad later and he told me that next weekend I can come over and take whatever I wanted.. My mom meant the world to me... I have nothing of hers... My Dad used to believe that when he died my Step-mom would make sure I got what I wanted.. He now sees that she is so selfish she wouldn't give me anything, even if I begged.... Why would a woman want to keep all of another dead woman's things??? It is kind of morbid really... They mean nothing to her.. She just wants to sell them and keep the money... Can you say SELFISH???

So to my point.... I do have one by the way...LOL I was thinking today that I am so glad you can choose your family... I have chosen mine and I feel so blessed.. I have a great chosen family and a husband who loves me.. Does it really get any better??

Tonight as I go to bed I will be thanking God for letting me choose my Family....

Wow, I am skinny...

Star in Your Own JibJab! It's Free!
I had so much fun making videos tonight. Here is one of Ron and I at the Disco...LOL I have not laughed this hard in a long time.. I forget how good it is for the soul... So have a look and it is so ok if you laugh....

Pictures from our photo shoot...

I like this one but my face looks so fat.. Well I guess it is, but I somehow want to look thin in my pics..LOL Is that to much to ask for???

I think we will use this one for our Christmas Cards....

This one is my favorite.. We just happend to look at eachother when she took the picture...

We had our friend meet us at the same park we got married at to take pictures... It was cold, but the sun came out... It was nice remembering our special day... I loved our wedding.. It was so amazing. I am so in love with my husband.... He loves me so much.. How did I ever get so blessed????

It has been a while....

I think I stopped writing because I have felt so sad. I feel like the world is so against us. We are so unsure of what the future holds for us. I prayed last night for my husband to get a break.. He so deserves one break... He is an amazing man and does so much for me and for others... He deserves to have one thing go right... Just one.....

He has been sad too... We see a family and he always gets this sad look in his eyes... He looks at me knowing I feel the same way... I always feel like a failure, like I have let him down so much.... He wants to be a papa more than anything.....

Not sure where we will be in 6 months?? I am just praying that wherever we are I am preggo.... Please God.....

School is going ok... This is the toughest Math class I have taken... Hopefully I will pass it and then no more Math!! Wouldn't that be amazing....

I am off to meet my Best Friend.. She is going to take some pictures of Ron and I so we can get our Christmas Cards made... I hope she can take a good one minus my double chin... I hate double chins.. I hate being fat...LOL Errrrrrrrr......