Why?

Today a small baby boy named Logan was taken off Life support at 3:10 pm... He died in his parents loving arms... How can this be??? We have all been praying so hard, lighting candles, crying, more praying and yet he is gone.. Why??? I just do not understand.... In Logan's short time here in this world he taught me many things... I never met him but that does not mean that I will not miss him... My heart is just broken... Thinking of Mom and Dad and what they have gone through and have yet to go through.... Why is life so hard??

Why, I do not understand....

Logan, you will be missed so much....

My Hero

Sharon Ann Post

11 Years ago Today....

I can't Believe that she has been gone for so long...

My Best Friend took these pictures the day of my wedding. She brought a rose and a candle from my wedding and stopped by her grave side.... It

was very touching......

This is my momma when she was young and in the Army... She served as a Nurse during the Vietnam War. I am proud of her and always will be....

This is my Mama at my older Brothers Soccer Game w/ my Sister on her head... She loved all of us so much. She was the Mom that supported you in all that you did. She really was amazing...

Here she is at my Sister's 6th Grade recognition.I love her smile.....

I Miss you Mom... I miss the way you loved me....The way you beleived in me! I hope I have made you proud! You are my hero and I hope someday soon to be as good of a mama as you were... I love you!

DOOM

It is 11:00 PM and my husband is playing Doom...YUCK!!! It scares the crap out of me!! There is all this fighting and zombie sounds... Ick!! I know I will have nightmares tonight!!! You know what is funny,

it scares the crap out of him too, but he insists on torturing himself... Men! In the game you walk around with a flashlight...It is hard to see the things coming for you, but you can hear them.... I am scared......(teeth chattering)

I just threw a notepad at him and hit him in the back and yelled at the same time... It was hilarious, although I am not sure he will ever forgive me...LOL I had to include some pictures so everyone knows just how creepy it is!!!

Maybe I am just a wimp??? But I hate me some Zombies!!!! ICK!!!!

Can Single Girls Wear Tampons?

We truly have come a long way from pads that you wore w/ a belt and tampons called Meds.... Just thought I would share some Tampon history...Enjoy!

This add from 1969 says "Tampax makes it possible for you to be Free to be yourself." I never feel like myself when AF is here!!! And inserting a tampon sure doesn't make me feel any better.... Who wrote this stuff.....

Found this add for new Meds...LOL

So I was wrong, really wrong... I am not pregnant! I am just crazy! This whole TTCing journey makes you crazy! I bet their is a researcher out there somewhere who has documented cases of Women like me! Some how that makes me feel better. I am not alone... I am one person in a sea of people who are struggling every day to get pregnant and stay pregnant. I have never had a cycle quite like that one...I think my body is still trying to get back to "normal", if there is such a thing??? Who knows??

On a good note, I have lost a total of 16lbs.... It used to be 20lbs when I first got pregnant, but then I gained almost 10lbs back after the MC. The Dibbs I ate every day really didn't help the situation... I also started drinking caffeine and just not taking care of myself! Bad Erin!!! Depression can really kick your butt and make it larger!!! But now I am off caffeine again, which made my daily headaches go away. So only 4 more lbs to be back to my total loss of 20lbs. I have been walking with Ron when ever we can...Usually about 2 miles.. It has been nice! So I am going to look at getting AF as a positive thing. Now I have more time to take better care of me and prepare myself for the next pregnancy!!! Right!!

TGIF!!!! I can not wait for Ron to get home.. We have a busy weekend planned and Saturday I am having a few drinks!! I figure since Af is here, it is ok to have a few Margaritas!!!

Sounds Good huh?????

To Delete or not to Delete

I had a small meltdown last night... I do not think I am pregnant and then beat myself up for believing that I was at 5 DPO! Talk about setting yourself up for disappointment. It is bad enough that I believed, but then I shared my belief w/ Ron and in my Blog and on EverythingBaby!! I was feeling pretty embarrassed to say the least... So I decided I would delete my post...but just couldn't do it.... I think I will leave it as a testimony to my stupidity!

I feel like a whiner! A big fat whiner!!! I was pregnant, I lost it at 8 weeks.... It was hard, I need to just get over it.... But some days i just can't.... I cried last night because I loved being pregnant! I loved everything about it.. I had never felt so alive.... In that one month I had thought of everything... What color their eyes would be, their hair, would it be curly, daycare, Mother's Day, the way my DH would look when he first held our new Baby....My mind never stopped working in that wonderful month.....

Today I want to crawl back into bed and have another good cry, but I have to get myself dressed and go to school... Why is life so hard sometimes? Why can't I just be "over it", why is it so hard to move on, Why can't good people who want Babies just have sex, get, pregnant and nine months later have a healthy Beautiful Baby??? SO many questions????